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The Last Day

15 May

This is how Texas does law enforcement

So tomorrow I leave for the Navy and I’ll be cut off from the world. I’m actually, strangely, looking forward to not having to deal with my phone or anything for a while. I’m sure I’ll miss it when I’m there. But, really, I’m so ready for this that I can’t really put it into words. I’ve wanted out of here for so long and now that it’s finally here, it hardly feels like tomorrow is the day.

Yesterday was Crude Fest, basically a gathering of people who want to get drunk in the desert. It’s pretty much the opposite of Rock the Desert, a concert where people go to listen to Christian rock. I’m sure though that the same people go to both. It was fun though, for a change, and it’s a good last hurrah. I got to see Emily, and hang out with Mike and everybody else. I can’t say it’s the most amazing event in the world, but at least it wasn’t me sitting at home watching something boring on TV. Lots of good BBQ at least!

Me and Emily at Crudefest

I’m not really clear how this happened, but Mike was talking to some couple and when I came up, the guy told me to kiss his girlfriend since I was leaving for the Navy. How random, awesome. So I made out with some hot girl in front of her boyfriend. Ha, it’s funny just thinking about it.

I got pretty drunk and then ended up hanging out with Lizz, but my brain was already shut off. Somewhere along the way I lost my driver’s license, so thank God I have a passport.

Today will be kind of boring though. Just hang out at home, let my body recover (this headache is making typing this pretty difficult). My brother is coming over to get my TV today, and I’m putting my car in storage.

Well, see you everybody! Time to go fight the terrorists!

Big Bend

26 Apr

The Jeep. Badass.

I had a really great time at Big Bend. It’s the kind of place where you can get away from everything. And when everything is Midland, it’s a pretty enjoyable event. My parents had bought a 2001 Jeep in December, but it’s been too cold to really go out and do anything (or other things pop up), so it’s taken this long to test it out. I’m glad I got to do it before I leave though. I stayed in a little town called Lajitas, overlooking the river and Mexico. Very quiet and peaceful, minus the roosters crowing every morning.

The waterfall in a canyon in Big Bend

Big Bend itself is pretty incredible though. It’s one of those places where pictures don’t do justice so putting them online is kind of like a blind person describing Taylor Swift — it just can’t compare to the real thing. (One day, she will be mine.) There were two main parts to the trip, one was the little bit of hiking I did and the other was the driving. The hiking itself seemed like a lot of fun but I really wasn’t set up for anything tough, so I only did the small stuff. One thing I managed to find was a waterfall in the canyon, which is so remarkable since the rest of the area is a desert. But here was green and full of life; lots of ugly mule deer around too. As well, there were some old Indian paintings on the side of the rocks, some of which nearly perfectly preserved after hundreds of years.

Me trying not to get myself killed

The other experience was the driving, which is so completely exhausting. It’s hard to describe the roads out there, but imagine being on the side of a mountain on a road that is actually just a path of loose rocks. For someone who hasn’t really driven a standard since ’05 (and that was a Porsche, not a Jeep), it’s a pretty challenging endeavor. I finally figured out more of the Jeep’s capabilities and was able to get more comfortable towards the end, but the process of learning in that kind of condition was a fun challenge. Of course, I am still here so I made it safely. By the time I was done driving, I was ready to have a beer and call it a night.

The view from Lajitas

I was only out there a couple of days, but it was a really good break. Everything is so calm and peaceful. It’s just you and nothing else. And the view is pretty much awesome at all times. I definitely will be back, and next time with the right hiking gear.

Well, besides Big Bend, my life has been pretty uneventful. I quit my job on the 15th of this month to give myself time to get into Navy shape, which isn’t to say I’m not already. But I figured I should just step it up and go all out. Also, when you have nothing to do all day, the gym becomes the reason to get up. Well, and watching my favorite 80′s movies, eating fruit snacks, and drinking diet Mountain Dews. Yeah, I can be lazy too! Just a few more weeks and I’m out and gone for a while. I’m not taking anything with me, so if you want to get in touch, you’ll have to shoot me a message on Facebook so when I finally get to a computer I can check it. I’m actually looking forward for to the break from technology for a bit. I guess you could send me letters but that just feels archaic.

I'm going to miss you blowing dust, 100 degree weather, yellow jackets, rotten egg smell, posinous gas, etc.

Anyway, I’m planning one more possible trip. Unfortunately flying is out of the question — Southwest just raised its rates so much that driving (at least across Texas) is more feasible. Oh well, I’m used to a lot of driving. Maybe I’ll hit up Austin or San Antonio, or if I’m inclined to 9 hours of driving, Houston. But then maybe I won’t do anything and just focus on beasting at the gym. We shall see.

I’ll probably make one more post before I go. It’ll read “Oh my God, what have I got myself into this time”. Sike, Charleston is going to be kick ass.

Houston

7 Apr

Me and Emily. After this, it was all down hill!

Houston was really fun. I haven’t wrote the post about it because I’ve just been entirely too lazy, but it is definitely worth remembering. That’s kind of ironic, of course, since I really can’t remember some of the most exciting parts. Thankfully for me, seeing Emily always means one thing: photos will be taken. I haven’t appeared in any photos on Facebook in a long time, so it was nice to change it. You can see my ridiculously long hair (that I’m shaving off tomorrow). Unfortunately for you, I’ve untagged myself in a million photos where I look like a walking corpse. Houston can hit a person hard!

I’d definitely say the highlight of visiting Houston was the club experience. You can’t get that in Midland, and you can’t even find that kind of club in Austin either (though I still love 4th street when I want to be classy). It was a lot of fun to meet Emily’s friends as well — they’re a good bunch. They definitely reflect Emily’s party spirit. I think I impressed them with just how much I can handle and still remain alive; I’m definitely the classiest one of Emily’s friends for sure.

But, mainly, I feel like what I missed the most is just being in college. It was such a fun time to party and hang out. (Yes, Trinity was lame and most of the people were massive OATs ["Only At Trinity" can you find people this strange], but the people I did make friends with turned out to be entirely awesome.) I think Emily and I had a pretty good dynamic — how many times have we partied together over the years? More than I can possibly recall, I’m sure. It was great to have a group of regular people (at the time, usually Ariel, Rob, Austin, Emily, D, and myself) that would come to my apartment, watch stupid movies, and get entirely too drunk. Now it kind of feels weird when I have more than one beer. Strange times, strange times indeed.

I digress here though, so back to the story. Houston is a pretty nice city to hang out in. The food there is undeniably awesome and we got to eat a variety of places I enjoyed a lot. Sushi, fried seafood, and steak — what a good three day streak of meals! And, Emily cooked for me so I even got the home cooked experience. Because she’s a terrorist sleeper cell from Saudi, she’s not, apparently, familiar with American things. She asked me if I had ever had chicken and dumplings. I thought that is the backbone of America? Jeez, I’m sure the next ingredient you’ll be using is fissionable nuclear material to take down freedom and democracy. Your move, traitor.

We climb the rock wall. I shouldn't have attempted this after two hours of working out...

There were other things that happened, like movies, court cases, and rock wall climbing (which I completely failed at) but the point is that I had a great time. It’s less that Houston is a good city and more that Emily is a great friend.

And she’ll be a  rich lawyer one day so I have to flatter her as much as I can to get invites to VIP yacht parties…

That Book Changed My Life

13 Mar

So, I just posted a few seconds ago about my Spring Break in Austin for SXSW, but I wanted to make a separate post for one of the funniest stories I can imagine.

I'm actually a vegan, I swear.

After Brennan and I got finished with a technology conference, we were already feeling a pretty good buzz and started walking throughout the 6th Street area when we realized we were starving and hit up the nearest source of food, a pizza cart. We started smashing on some meat lovers pizza, when, like the true hawks we are, noticed an attractive female ordering a pizza and holding some book. I decided the best thing to do would be to start a meaningful conversation with her, so I approached her and said “that book changed my life”. She turned around and started agreeing with me and explaining how the book illustrated why the meat industry was the worst part of America and that she converted to a vegan diet after reading it.

That’s about the time that she realized we were both talking to her while eating a meat lover pizza. Brennan made probably the funniest face I’ve ever seen when I said “Yeah, this was just my one slip-up”.

This has to be about the best timing on anything, ever. The moral of the story is that she turned out to be a bartender, thought our massive bullshit introduction was hilarious, and actually bought us shots at her bar when we finally figured out what it was called. That’s how winners play Austin.

“Spring Break” 2011

13 Mar

I’m putting that in quotation marks because I no longer have a Spring Break because I have somehow turned into an adult. That said, I really needed to catch up with all the people I have been telling I would catch up with for years — and this is the perfect time to do it before I ship out on May 17th. Pretty much everything worked out time wise, so I decided to take off this past Wednesday and head into Austin for South by Southwest (or SXSW), which is basically a festival films, technology, art, music, and food. So, uh, pretty much everything I like in one place at one time!

Having a slightly inebriated converstaion with Angelo, the CEO of deviantART

So, Wednesday I headed to Austin for my first event, a Texas devMeet with a lot of the core staff (and friends!) from deviantART which was put on at the Spider House off Guadalupe. I met a lot of new folks because it drew such a crowd, which was nice, but it was also comforting to see the rest of the Texas devMeet guys from our annual meets. We’re pretty much family now. Lots and lots of history there. Interesting how bonds like that form.

I got to talk to Ryan, the creative/marketing guru for dA, and I think we talked way too long about demographics, but for us it was an enjoyable experience. And, of course, I got to see my former bosses, Heidi and Danie, who were pretty awesome. And finally, I had a few drunken rambling conversations with Angelo, the dA CEO and all around badass. During this entire time, I was working on getting completely plastered, at which I completely succeeded.

Finally, we headed to another venue to wrap up the night and I really can only say that I hope they expected me to be truly a memorable experience. I was all kinds of nuts that night for a lot of complicated reasons. In turn, if I ever get to meet them all again some day, I believe I will be “that guy”. Ha.

Thankfully, I survived the night and found a place to stay. I ended up getting some breakfast with Charlie, one of the elite SXSW photographers this year, and a Texas devMeet regular and had more random conversations about life. Good times.

Koreana, the world's best place to eat. This is not an exaggeration.

Following that, I headed into San Antonio to link up with Christian and see if he had been betting his life savings on the field. We hit up Koreana off Rittiman and had the best meal in the entire world. I forwarded this image to Dan and he instantly started crying. What a baby. After that, I linked up with KJ, Dylan, and Craig (and worked in a trip to Taco Taco with KJ the following morning before heading out). Then, we did Bays, like the classic Trinity experience where an entirely hammered Rob showed up. Of course, we managed to get to Crabby Jacks (and didn’t even get kicked out). I got to see Stephanie again, which was nice, even though she lost all of my elite CD collection.

After hanging out with Rob for a while that next day (until Ariel came in town!), I got a call from Brennan, the source of my exploits from last year’s spring break. I headed that way and met him in Austin for a SXSW feature about the future of technology in ten years. Unfortunately, the most memorable thing about it was an egg toss and a four dollar Bud Light, but after this, we were set and ready to party. Along the way, probably the funniest thing possible happened to us. But, as usual, it all went down at and around 6th Street (though there were noticeably less people than usual — I guess they were at the VIP parties).

When I woke up, I called up Scott who I went to Creekwood Middle School with in Kingwood, and ended up reuniting with in college freshman year as incoming Trinity freshmen. We ended up making margaritas and heading to meet other Kingwood friends like Matt and Aaron to swim at Barton Springs, a really beautiful natural spring with a nice park area. Then dinner at Garj Mahal, the best Indian place I’ve ever tried, and then back to the 21st St Coop, an interesting coop with a bar set up and lots of music and places to gather. We listened to some screaming music and drank, but the highlight was just getting to see all the guys again.

I wanted to make this post immediately after I got home, otherwise I would delay it and forget it like I usually do. I had a really, really great time. I think it was such an interesting Spring Break because I had four completely unique experiences: a devMeet, a Trinity-style night, a Sam/Brennan 6th Street rager (Sam was with us in spirit. 5 dollar liquor pitcher? Absolutely!), and a chill reunion with my best friends from my childhood. Seriously, what more could you ask for?

There was a possibility of staying another night, but I really had to get back because of work (and my body had become  a living alcohol sponge for days straight). Next week will be cut short too because then I’m heading to Houston to see Emily.

Spring Break, Round 2 — coming soon.

Vegas

8 Feb

Who needs to go to NYC when you can come here and skip all the Yankees?

So, I went to Vegas. It’s always been a goal of mine. The city of sin has such a build up that I was interested in seeing it in person and having my own adventures. Movies like “Casino” and “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” have hyped it up to be some crazy drug filled nightmare trip with seedy crime and crazy adventures. (And that sounds pretty awesome in contrast to Midland.) My trip was actually a lot more tame in comparison. I spent most of my time just wandering around the casino floor at the Luxor and losing my money slowly on slot machines, roulette, and craps — mainly craps. I did manage to see a few things, and eat at some of the famous buffets (they’re okay), but most of what I can remember was throwing dice and going up 20, then down 20, then up 20, then down 30 — rinse and repeat.

Yeah, I'm a winner, what can I say?

It was pretty enjoyable for the sheer experience, but I didn’t win big like I had hoped. Leaving, I felt like it was more of a loss than it really was. I only ended up blowing a little over a week’s pay, which is nothing important considering I do nothing except pay my loans and buy things to pass the time. Considering how expensive it could have been, I feel pretty good about it. But, I wish I would have been smart enough to cash out. (I actually cashed out and then immediately put it back on the craps table in order to double it. Yeah, that worked out well.)

This is a good dam photo.

It was good to see the guys again, Christian, Rob, and Alex. We’ve had some good nights drinking at Crabby Jacks, though I felt like everything was so expensive in Vegas we couldn’t rage as hard as we would have liked. There were things to do and experience, but they were were all cost prohibitive and we never really went with a plan. I’m thankful, however, we got to stop by the Hoover Dam, which is pretty impressive by any standards. It was the highlight of the trip for me, and it made the ridiculous drive out of Vegas a little more enjoyable.

Besides all of that fun stuff, life in Midland has been pretty standard. Just a lot of work, and lately a lot of post hole digging. I’m pretty sure that I never want to dig another hole again in my life, but I still have more to do. I try to be positive and think it’s exercise. Last week was pretty much a bust in general though — the snow moved in and it just never stopped for about three days. I couldn’t get anything done and when I tried all I did was go numb no matter how many layers I put on. I’m not sure how people say they like the snow. Really? Do they like the thought of it, or do they like the snow? Because it sucks. It makes everything difficult. Maybe you just get used to it over time. But I was happy with three days being all of it. (Though, apparently, it’ll be moving in again on Wednesday. Great.)

Yeah. F that.

And finally, I decided to buy a new TV. My old TV was pretty good and lasted me through college, but I just felt compelled to get a new one. I had been pricing them for several months and reading all the news and reviews. Eventually I just build it up to the point where I just have to buy it to stop from going insane. It’s a war of attrition when it comes to making big purchases. Either way, it’s a new Vizio 55” 3D and all that. Hard to explain a TV though. It’s good, I’ll leave it at that. Perhaps this is a stupid decision since the Navy will be shipping me off soon, but it will help me bide my time and it’s not like a good TV like this will look bad. Overkill probably, and that’s okay. What else am I doing?

This weekend, I’ll have Vegas, the TV, student loans (for this month), and other miscellaneous expenses paid off, so I’ll be booking a flight to Houston to see Emily Faber, one of my favorite Trinity people. Her adventures in law school sound impressive to say the least; can’t wait to see how exciting the town really is for myself. Should be fun! That, and I need to hurry up and plan out South by Southwest, but I haven’t figured out who all will be in town. Need to get Sam back to Texas to do a redo of Spring Break last year. Probably the best 4 days of stupid drunken adventures ever.

Oh, and I’m glad the Packers won the Super Bowl. Ben Rapistberger didn’t need another get out of rape free ring.

Get Out of My Gym

10 Jan

Ah, West Texas. Only here would you find this on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. What's funnier, the coyote or the fact that someone actually did this?

Well, it’s the new year — 2011, one year away from our inevitable destruction. If John Cusack survives the 2012 apocalypse, it’s still a complete loss in my eyes. So, I have been neglecting this for a while. It’s not really out of a lack of interest. I think about updating this daily but by the time I get home I usually want to work out, shower, and go to bed. Yes, my life is the pinnacle of excitement.

Anyway, I’ve always seen those commercials on TV about joining a gym after New Year’s and I didn’t realize that people actually flock to the gym like that. Today it was actually impossible to do anything. Every machine, even the old busted bikes with the giant wheels, were being used. I can’t believe how many people were there. Definitely over 100 (whereas before there were maybe 10). What’s sad is that people have to have this trigger to get to the gym. If you want to work out, just go to the gym. I ended up starting about this time last year though it was because I wanted to rather than what everyone always does. Anyway, the whole concept just seems weird. I’m wondering how long it will take for them to fizzle out. The lady behind the desk says March and it’ll be completely back to normal. Can’t come soon enough.

So besides the gym frustrations, I spent my New Year in Dallas for the Chastain family reunion. Good times, good food. I wish we had more time to go explore Dallas a little, but we’re usually in and out pretty quick. I managed to get some sort of awful sinus infection (girls dig it), and missed most of work last week. I really hate just sitting around all day doing nothing, especially for the better part of a week. I ended up just playing video games (c’mon like I would read a book?). I felt pretty awful. I’m not sure how Sam could sit around and play Battlefield from 8 AM to 8 PM at my apartment… I guess that’s considered a skill.

Pretty nice ride. Can't wait to take it off some sick jumps. (You got like 4 feet of air that time.)

One of the cooler things to happen is that my dad sold his motorcycle and bought a pretty sick Jeep. I think it’s a lot more practical than a motorcycle and I can’t wait to beast mode it at Big Bend later this year. Hopefully when it’s warmer. This cold weather stuff is for chumps.

And finally, the Navy got back to me. My commission was denied for all three fields, meaning I’ll go back to being enlisted and doing the nuclear field. Not all bad, but I can’t help feel like there was something more I could have done. Also it means I’ll be here until May. Trying to hold down the fort until then.

So in the spirit of resolutions, I was thinking about making one to go with the fad, but I just came up with a list of stuff I want to do before I die, unless I die first. And here it is:

  • Sky dive. This is my biggest fear in the entire world. It’s not natural to jump out of a perfectly good plane. Also if the chute doesn’t open you’ll have to think about how much you shouldn’t have jumped out of that plane. But, I want to do it so I can say I did it.
  • Get in a shark cage with pissed off sharks. One of our relatives works in Galveston for a nonprofit dealing with ocean life, so I will have to get her advice. I’ll probably have to do it in Mexico to make it cheap. I feel like either way, I’ll be charged an arm and a leg, one more literal than the other.
  • Run a marathon. This sounds so ridiculously impossible. By the time I hit 8 miles I’m nearly dead. How do people do that? It’s insane. It will kill me. Might as well do it.
  • Get back to Australia. Man, I love that place. I have to go back and relive some of the best experiences of my entire life. In general, I just want to travel. Maybe that’s why the Navy was so appealing?
  • This is the poster for a documentary on why we shouldn't like spiders.

    Hold a tarantula. This is right up there with skydiving. They are hell spawn abominations. I hate spiders, but I really hate the massive tarantulas. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about them. So, I better man up and hold one.

  • Have a stranger recognize me for something I’ve done. And, hopefully that’s a good something. I don’t want to be a star, but it would be pretty awesome if I was known for something awesome — like that guy who went to Mexico and jumped into a shark cage and ended up losing an appendage much to the delight of YouTube.
  • Pay off all my debt. I’m actually closer to this goal than I have been in years. I finally got my credit card completely paid off — the first time since I turned 18. At this point, I’ll try not to use it again. Now all I have are my student loans. Awesome.
  • Give more. I really would like to give more. Right now, it’s hard to give much of anything since I’m pretty constrained with the aforementioned student loans. But I feel like it’s a good thing in general to get in the practice of giving. Maybe not money at this moment, but time. I do have time off occasionally and I really should try to do something productive with it instead of sit in front of YouTube wasting my life.

 

This Is My Rifle

14 Dec

Vintage M48 Mauser bolt-action rifle

So on Sunday, I decided to buy a rifle from a coworker of my dad’s. I had been looking for a more modern rifle, but after hearing the history of the piece and learning more about it, I started to really want to try it out. It’s pretty awesome. Essentially, this rifle, the M48 Mauser, is the same as the Karbiner 98 Kurz (Kar98k, for short). The Kar98k is the rifle the Germans used in World War II with great success, even though other contemporary rifles of the same started leaning towards semi-automatic firing mechanisms. In fact, countries still use these things today as viable weapons — as recently as the ’90s they were seen used by a professional military, and right now as we fight in Afghanistan, the insurgents are using them against us.

As you can see from the photo, this thing is pretty much wood and metal. It’s a bolt-action, so there’s a metal mechanism that you pull back on and press forward to manually load the next bullet into the chamber. Decisively old school, though many hunters still prefer this because it’s easy, cheap, and produces the same results, albeit the time between firing a round is increased. Also worth noting is the the stock end is actually straight up metal. Now, I haven’t fired this thing (if it will fire) because I had to order the ammo online since no one really makes this stuff anymore (I literally had to buy 1970′s Yugoslavian ammo in the original ammo crates). However, I’m sure when I do get this thing locked and loaded, I’ll have to bring some serious padding. The metal was mainly meant to ensure the weapon would survive a lot of abuse. You can beat something/someone with it and I’m sure it’d be just fine. Probably a good way to bust down a door or something.

Otherwise, I bought the bayonet to go with it online since these are getting harder and harder to come by. Figured I might as well get the whole package. Also, I suppose it would be easier to shank a drifter with. My mom is contemplating getting wall mounts to display it since it looks pretty attractive. I will admit that it grows on you. I shined up the wood and the leather strap which came with it had never been unrolled, so I had to work it with some saddle soap, but now it’s pretty soft.

Really, this is a pretty cool find and it’s just making me wish it was the end of the week so I could spend my Saturday at the range messing with it.

Mice, and Navy Updates

9 Dec

Alice, the official mascot of some really fun times times in sophomore year of college.

I’m not really a big fan of mice, except when they’re being eaten by snakes (cool!) or in my favorite childhood cartoon, Tom and Jerry. Lately there have been a few crafty mice in the house (winter is coming and they obviously want the warmth and any crumbs we might drop). A few nights ago they woke me up. I swear that one was on my bed and crawling around me and that’s how I woke up the first time, but the second time they had knocked my stuffed rattlesnake (yes, I have a stuffed rattlesnake, really) on to the ground and started going for the neck. I think this is some kind of amazing irony that the mice are eating the snake, so I was actually more impressed than angry. But still, I don’t like mice waking me up. So the next morning I got a few different types of traps and set them out. Amazingly, they have defeated every single trap I’ve set. I have the old fashioned lethal ones and the sticky pads ones. They tripped the old fashioned one and stole the cheese, and the sticky one caught one in the act but he dragged it under something  and was able to get free. Lucky guys. They haven’t been back since, so I hope they learned their lesson.

Two major purchases since coming home: my 1911 and my 380. In Texas, gun is spelt fun.

Anyway, I was re-reading my last post and I pretty much sounded like the most emo, upset kid around around. I think things have been building up and it hit me pretty hard, so I decided to vent a little online. I feel like that’s a good way to do it instead of killing a drifter, as my brother often says. But, for you guys reading it, and myself, I just felt like it wasn’t accurate. I don’t hate life and I do have a lot of hope for the future. I just wish my future would start now instead of later. I guess my fear is that I will have essentially wasted an entire year of my life doing nothing. That’s kind of a daunting thing to think about it as a complete waste, and it’s not really. I am paying off my credit cards and eventually my loans. I have bought a few things for myself to keep me entertained. And I’m keeping to a really intense exercise plan. I had a good session tonight so that’s partly why I’m in a good mood.

Otherwise, the Navy finally got back to me on Monday. My Lt. informed me that two of my three applications for a commission were rejected, though they don’t give particular reasons. For most of the week I kind of felt like a massive failure as a human being. I think it’s my fault for thinking I would get something I knew was hard/impossible to get right off the bat, but I’m not the kind of person to not take on a challenge. I admit, I do feel a little helpless. There is something more I could have done to help me — I’m sure — but I have no idea what. That’s part of it though. I still have the chance to become a supply officer, and that’s not a bad gig at all. I actually really like logistics and I’ve already mentioned before I’d be comfortable with it. I don’t consider it settling for less. The supply board is December 16th, so pretty soon, but with the holidays around, I honestly expect it’ll be after the first of the year before I know. In the mean time, I’ve been readying for my alternative position that I already have in the Navy, enlisted (E3) Nuclear. This is one of the better programs in the Navy — I have nothing against it.In fact, it’s really not anything bad at all. The benefits are pretty legitimate in the long run.

The nuclear field isn't all that bad; Homer is my objective.

I guess my concern is that I would be, essentially, at the point where I would have been if I had never went to college (with some perks, I admit). I’m going to make this a career, so whatever happens happens — but I honestly feel like I am ready for the increased responsibility right now. Also, weirdly, I want to prove myself in OCS (Officer Candidate School) I’ve been training my body for a long time and I really want to see if I can do it. Like I said, I enjoy challenge. You can quote me now: I will reach my goals. They just might end up taking more time than I had originally intended. But, all I have is time right now.

December

5 Dec

Our Christmas tree, and I didn't even have to help put it together

December for me usually just means it’s freezing cold and I’m in Midland for the holidays. Now that I’m living here for who knows how long until the Navy lets me figure out my future, I have just kind of faded into this month — there aren’t any finals or big parties to announce it at school, and now this is my life. I try not to hate on Midland too much (oh wait, no I don’t), but last Thursday I think everything finally got to me. I was having one of those days where you just think “how much more of this can I take”, and it was compounded by the frustrations of the preceding days. As well, not knowing what is going on in my life is really hard when I can barely afford my student loans, my job was supposed to be temporary, and I have to be here just in a holding pattern until I find out.

Honestly, things have not been good at home. I think the holidays stress out everyone a little more than usual, but honestly, this is just stuff that has gone on for years and we don’t really address it. My parents worry me, both of them, but especially my mom. I don’t think she knows what she’s saying to me or what she’s said to me pretty much since we moved to Magnolia around ten years ago. On Wednesday she called me “the meanest, most hateful, critical person she has ever met” after I told her that she has been asking the same questions over and over (presumably brooding about something in her mind). I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t take things like that personally, but this is my mom. There’s more to this situation, but I won’t get into it.

I'm a gangster, or an oil field worker sick of dust.

So, on this Thursday I was already upset by the fighting at home, and then I managed to get H2S gassed pretty good and lost my breakfast from the stuff (it makes me really sick to my stomach, for some reason; my dad shrugged this off like I was just weak, but whatever). And then the next unit I went to had yellow jackets inside the panel, meaning as soon as I opened it they got completely pissed. I tried to go back to it to close it, but they were too angry, leading me to have to wrap up in every piece of winter clothes I could find to try to protect myself to go in for a quick run and get my ladder back and get the unit sealed up. I managed to do it, though I did get stung and was covered in them when I was scrambling to get into my truck. Just not a fan of these things. So they next unit I go to — same deal, full of yellow jackets. And this is the day that I ran out of wasp spray while I was spraying them. Not a very good situation to be in, trust me. Basically, the whole day turned out to be a complete bust and I was driving home just thinking about how I didn’t want to go home, but I didn’t want to be at work, but I had to do both things in one day.

The most exciting thing of the week: I got lost in the field and found the remains of Hobbs AFB, complete with old plane parts and grown up runways.

Somehow the day ended and things were better the next day. The wind had died down so I didn’t need a bandanna to keep from choking on the dust, and it was strangely something like 85 degrees. Some December this is turning out to be. I know because I said this we’ll have record cold temperatures now. I even spent some time at my brother’s and played some video games, which was nice for a change. Yes, this is about as close to going out as I get lately.

I’m excited for people I like coming into town for a few days. Change things up and refresh my sanity. I’m also hopeful that this coming week I will find out what the Navy will do with me so I can know for sure where I’m going, when I’m going, and what I’m doing. I need something to look forward to, and these are the two things that keep me going. I also need some structure that isn’t this structure. That is my hope on the horizon.

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