So, today I got on Facebook to try to find something that I immediately forgot I was looking for as soon as I got on. While doing so, I noticed it was Dan’s birthday, my old roommate from college, and I so I gave him a call. He made two really valid points about both of our lives at the moment, and it’s kind of upsetting. The following quotes are shown below, but I don’t actually remember what he said exactly. (I literally just got off the phone with him too, making this pretty impressive.)
“Don’t you think it’s sad that we haven’t talked for a few months and we’re doing exactly the same thing as we were before? Nothing is new.”
“Isn’t it crazy how work completely destroys your sense of time? You go in to work on a Monday and all the sudden it’s Thursday. You’re just getting to work and then all the sudden you’re leaving — and then somehow you’re back at work.”
Both of these are sad points. I haven’t updated this journal in months and the only new thing in my life is that I’ve moved back to Midland and started working. Nothing else has happened in my life and it looks like that will be the same for some months to come. Kind of a scary thought. We both really don’t find our jobs to be engaging (though I don’t hate mine). It’s just something that fills up time and gives us paychecks.
I still can’t wrap my head around how people get stuck doing something they don’t really enjoy and then do it for the rest of their lives, just coasting through and until some point in the future — and I’m not sure we know what that point is — where we decide to make a change. I feel like doing it young is the way to go because youth gives you more options to do the things you haven’t. I will go skydiving soon; this is my greatest fear and I have to do it. I’m afraid of waking up one day and being old, realizing I’ve wasted so many years so I could get a paycheck. I think, fortunately, the Navy will keep things varied, and for this, I am thankful. It was a radical option in terms of the regular 9-to-5, and it’s something that will hopefully avoid this fact.
So, I guess my question is this: is this bleak outlook really how the rest of our lives play out? Because honestly, that sucks. I can’t handle doing something like this day in and day out, never getting to do the things I want, never getting to accomplish my goals, and never getting to marry a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader (aim high, right?).
This is actually hopeful post because I feel like my future will have that spark to keep it interesting and give me options on trying new things. The Navy is exactly that: adventure. As well, I don’t think it’s impossible for Dan to get out of his cycle either. Today at dinner, two of my close friends announced they were moving — they’re picking up and getting out of Midland. They realized that all they were doing is flying a holding pattern and searching for something that Midland could not ever offer them. So, they’re dropping everything and moving. Hell yes. This is the power of our freedom, and it’s something we seldom exploit. Have a goal? Do it. Otherwise, I’m afraid we’ll die with the regret that we could have done something and never took that chance.